“While we often use the word ‘nice’ when we mean ‘kind’ and vice versa, it’s crucial to understand the difference between being a ‘nice’ manager and a ‘kind’ manager. There’s a clear distinction,” says Impellus Training Manager David James. 

“Most of us like to be thought of as ‘nice’ but when it comes to effective management, nice is usually a no-no.” 

Are you a nice manager? 

A nice manager is a people pleaser. They want everyone to like them and so concentrate on ensuring that everyone in the team is happy. They avoid conflict at all costs. 

“Wanting everyone to be happy is not in itself a bad aim,” says David. “Of course, managers want their teams to be positive, engaged, productive and harmonious, but being a people pleaser is almost always not the way to achieve this.”  

The pitfalls of being nice 

The nice manager: 

  • Runs the risk of creating resentment among some team members who see colleagues taking advantage of the nice manager to get their own way. For example, being allowed to take annual leave at inconvenient times; frequent lateness or absence; or simply not doing their share of the work. 
  • May struggle to make clear decisions because they are worried about rocking the boat or upsetting team members who will be affected. They would rather ‘paper over the cracks’ with a temporary solution than get to the root of the problem. This causes uncertainty and confusion and leads to team members losing faith in their manager. 
  • Will probably avoid difficult conversations as they don’t want to upset anyone or cause friction, again leading to resentment and building up trouble for the future. 
  • Could alienate and lose their best team members by not facing up to challenging issues. The nice manager may then be left with an under-performing team that is happy to carry on taking advantage of a manager who doesn’t want to ‘upset the boat’. 

The kind manager 

“A nice manager is actually more concerned with their own feelings, rather than the morale, wellbeing and productivity of their team,” says David. “And this is the fundamental difference between being a nice manger and a kind manager.” 

The kind manager: 

  • Understands that good management requires a balance between empathy and accountability. They are compassionate and care about their team’s wellbeing, but also see the bigger picture and know what needs to be done to achieve organisational success. 
  • Provides fair, objective and constructive feedback to team members, ensuring praise is given for achievements and clear guidance is provided to address any under-performance. 
  • Treats every team member the same and applies organisational policies fairly and transparently. 
  • Does not turn a blind eye to issues such as under-performance, lateness or persistent absence but addresses them in a fair and timely way. 
  • Is a good communicator, providing a clear and consistent way forward for the team, creating a culture of trust and loyalty. 
  • Avoids quick fixes and gets to the root of problems to find long-term solutions. 
  • Empowers their team members, inspiring self-confidence, initiative and accountability. 

In summary, the nice manager is inward looking; their priority is to be liked. In contrast, the kind manager prioritises the wellbeing and productivity of their team to provide a solid foundation for the long-term success of their organisation. 

Is your management style nice or kind? Do you need to review how you manage your team? You may find useful: 

Developing Winning Teams: This course will show you how to build cohesive, motivated and productive teams, whether you’re starting from scratch, making some personnel changes or need fresh inspiration for an existing team. 

Managing and Appraising Performance: Discover how to put in place fair and transparent methods of formal and informal assessment that will benefit your organisation and your people.  

Leadership Skills Development: This essential course delivers crucial leadership skills that will have an immediate positive impact on your effectiveness in the workplace. You will gain the tried and tested tools and techniques required to boost your powers of influence and motivation and become an inspirational leader.